Journal Entries from Freshman Snow Camp 2009

1/16/09 Friday night

[On Nick's talk]: I'm a Christian, sitting in the boat being called by Christ to be a fisher of men- I believe, but do I ever really follow? I can hear him calling me, holding out his hand, I want to follow but I need to be trained... what does truly following God look like? Is it deeds, a change of lifestyle, or a total change of insides and character? I'm begging him, please, PLEASE, clean out my insides and tell me what to do... Five Iron Frenzy's "Far Far Away" comes to mind...

1/17/09 Saturday morning

[On morning devotions]: I'm still praying for God to gut me, transform me from the inside out... I didn't actually do the devotion, but I read Ephesians "Living As Children of Light" and was struck dumb by the passage...

Saturday night

[On group sessions]: I can't believe I finally spilled my guts about the OD-ing I used to do. It felt right, though. My friends spilled their guts, too, and we're closer and understand each other better because of it...
[On the campfire worship session]: It was so beautiful I can't even describe it. There was such a sense of family, EVERYONE felt connected. People kept talking about how we ARE family, and it made me realize that we are bonded by something so much deeper than blood... Bill told us to never forget the moment... awesome acoustic worship... I saw a shooting star while singing "Your Love Is Extravagant" to the sky, and I know it was meant for us... I cried... We sang "Jesus Lover Of My Soul," "Prince Of Peace," "My Savior My God," "Blessed Be Your Name," "Heart Of Worship [a capella]," "Surrender..."

I don't want to leave. This is my family, and we may not all be together like this again. I love everyone here, I mean REALLY love them because of who they are in Christ. I can hear God out here in the mountains... I've stepped out of the boat... I'm ready to read the Bible myself and work on joining worship band in the summer as a guitarist, start really loving and ministering, learning to be full of God and absolute truth... I love this. I'm so blessed to be here. It's a spiritual high, sure, but I've learned solid, substantial stuff and I've gotten a lot of things straightened out...

When I'm eighteen, I'm getting a star tattoo with a verse in Hebrew [or Spanish, maybe??] to accompany it. stars play such a big role out here...

1/18/09 Sunday morning

[On morning worship]: The band played "Surrender" and everyone fell to their knees... I learned more about my calling through 2 Peter... we had one last group hug... took the group picture in front of the Covenant Heights sign... had an awesome time in Estes...
and then it was over.

End of entries.

I walked away with a lot this weekend. I'm never forgetting it. Loneliness truly is a bit of hell... now I've gotten a taste of what heaven is like.